Was your Grandma as "cool" as this?
In speaking with my mom last night she was relaying to me some troubles a friend is having (or has had) with her teen children. Teens are not easy and I gave my mom my own little share of hell, so I'm in no way shocked or suprised at things teens may do. So, this girl is 15 and she smokes and skips school. I knew plenty of kids who smoked at that age and more that skipped class. A lot of times they skipped class to smoke. (It makes sense, there's little to no time between classes to suck down a Marlboro Light 100.) I smoked after I started drinking at the age of 18. Great habits. Super. I knew it distressed my mom, and that's certainly not why I did it, but at 18 do you really give a rats ass what distresses your parents? They don't know anything, right? I was reading recently about a trashy ass mom who hosted young highschool kids at her house for sex and booze filled parties because she liked being the "cool mom". Well step aside "cool mom" because I just caught wind of "cool grandma". "Cool grandma" is the mother of my mom's friend and (obviously the smoking skipper daughter's grandma.) "Cool Grandma" has a tendency to undermine "mean mom" when smoking skipper daughter comes calling to complain. I get the grandma instinct to spoil the grandkids, but "cool grandma" recently took things a bit too far when she purchased a pack of cigarettes for skipping smoker granddaughter. "Cool grandma, it's really hard for me to get smokes because the guy who didn't card me got fired and now their's this mean bitch who checks their id's and I really, really, really want a cigarette!!!! Pleeeeeeeaaaaaase?" "Cool grandma" laughs at the plight of her skipping smoker kin and pulls right over into a 7-11 to buy her a fresh pack of tasty cigarettes. When "mean mom" finds the cigarettes and confronts skipping smoker on how she got them, skipping smoker replied, "From grandma." "She bought them for me because you won't!" "Mean mom" confronts "cool grandma" who says, "Oh, it was only one time..." I'm looking forward to hearing about the bottles of Boones Farm "cool grandma" buys for skipping smoker boozer granddaughter. Shit, the worst thing my grandma bought me was bubble gum shaped like a huge hamburger. Mom didn't like it because it wasn't sugarless.
posted by K San at 2:10:00 PM
2 Comments:
So I have two grandmothers--both still kickin it, both former smokers.
The one grandmother was a Sugar Pimp: we could, uninhibitedly, feast on JuJu Bees, Nutter Butters, crappy Kroger vanilla ice cream with the hardening hot fudge on it, and Christmas fudge--in May, it lasted that long. The best food at my grandmother's house, though, was not the sweets, nor falling-apart-tender meatloaf or buttery mashed potatoes, but hot dogs and Rice-a-Roni on the side. We loved it so much that, in fact, my sister and I just recreated this meal not two days ago.
But I digress: the other grandmother's idea of a treat was to sprinkle cinnamon on top of your milk, so that you'd have something fancy to drink while she and Granddad sucked down more early-evening Manhattans.
Yeah, what is it about the unspoken Get Out of Jail (and Here, Have Some Candy/Cigarettes/Turkey Dressing Before You Kiss Grandma Goodbye) Card that Grandmothers are allowed? Cause my Sugar Pimpin grandmother was not known by her seven children as very generous with any kind of imbibable, edible item.
I am grateful, though, she did not share her Virignia Slims (though my sister claims to have stolen one once, and smoked it--and feels guilty still a decade later).
8:18 AM
I like the idea of "smoking skipper" being Barbie's skanky, chain smoking little sister who wears far too much eye make-up.
I used to suck down the smokes in a very specific bathroom, in a very specific hallway in my very specific high school. The number of times I have almost DIED trying not to blow back the smoke in a nun's face cause she "caught us" is just too much...When my mother would get mad at me she would always say "I hope you end up with a daughter just like you."
If I did, at least I would know what to do with her.
My grandmother force fed us chocolate and "Regis and Kathy Lee." Never cigarettes. She never smoked. Didn't stop her from dying of lung cancer though.
Irony.
2:14 PM
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