Snarkity, snark, snark, snark

I started two blogs so I can get myself writing more as part of the one woman show master plan. A by-product of my new writing and regular release of frustration habit has been an incessant need to write what’s on my mind; hence the letter to the CTA regarding the mistreatment of the indigent passenger.

Well, I’ve surprised myself once again by typing an email to the Chicago Tribune’s junior publication, The Red Eye. I get the Red Eye everyday for free at my el stop. I like to read it at the gym on the elliptical machine. It’s mini news blurbs, or sound bites, rather. It covers the nation and world and all events, but in a very abbreviated form. Enough exposition, the back page is a bunch of celebrity crap, which I hate that I read, but I do. There was a blurb on the insipid Jessica Alba. She is my token representative of the disdainful Hollywood machine that whores out pretty people for TV and movies and calls them actors. That game is a gross one, but one that I know won’t go away. As an educated actor, it is offensive and belittling as the general population cannot discern between someone like Jessica Alba and someone, well, who can act.. Granted, a majority of the fan base are probably made up of kids who vote in the People’s Teen Choice Awards. Which I’ve sometimes thought that dimwitted, immature adults vote in too. Age is not necessarily representative of good taste.

So, here’s my snarky email to the Red Eye, which made my boss laugh so hard he turned red.

Hello there,

This is a petty, petty complaint, but it's something that has haunted me for awhile now. On behalf of myself and the bazillion other talented and hard working actors in the world, please stop lumping Jessica Alba in with us.

I believe that a fair, alternate title would be, "Well Paid Eye Candy".

I found it utterly hilarious and absurd that in your October 3, 2005 edition, while discussing her talks to be the in the upcoming "I Dream of Jeannie" movie she said, "...the script is just not in the shape I would want it to be in if I was going to do it." Yet, she elected to do "Into the Blue" and "Honey".

She is not the only pretty thing in Hollywood that continues to work based solely on looks, far from it. I just have this standard that when I watch a movie, I like to feel that the actors in it actually have souls.